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Desperately Seeking Employment

If you’re looking for a new job the last thing that you want to do is appear desperate when being interviewed.  Eager yes, excited yes but desperate never. Think about it; have you ever been really desperate to find an available girl in a bar and left alone at the end of the night?  It’s the same thing when you’re in an interview. Hot girls and hiring managers can smell desperation and see it in your eyes and, unfortunately, nobody wants to hook up with, or give a job to, a desperate person.

So with that in mind here are a number of different tactics for hiding your desperation when you’re going through that all important job interview. Remember, being desperate isn’t a sin but showing that you’re desperate is.

Never use the ‘U’ word.  Referring to yourself as ‘unemployed’ is almost as bad as saying “I have leprosy”.  It has a negative connotation and makes you seem lazy and shiftless (and contagious).  If asked, make up something interesting (preferably true) that you’re doing with your time like writing a play, taking night classes or something of that sort.

Don’t beg.  Telling a hiring interviewer that you’ll “take any job they have, even if it’s scrubbing the toliet” is not going to make you more desirable as an employee and will probably make the person interviewing you a little queasy.

Never, ever complain or cry. Employers want someone who is stable and in control of their emotions.  Honking your nose into a tissue and telling them that “everyone just seems to hate me” is going to paint you as an emotional wreck and kill your chances of being hired.

Don’t put the blame on something else.  If you start blaming other people, the economy or your industry, or outsourcing for your situation your prospective employer is going to sense that you don’t take responsibility for your actions.  That’s not good and won’t help you get hired.

Don’t become a pain in their butt. Calling or emailing every day, to see if you got the job is just going to make them really dislike you as well as think you’re a pain in the neck.  Better to set a time to follow up just before you end the interview and stick to it.

There you have it, 5 great tactics for hiding your desperation when you’re interviewing for your next job.  Learn them, take them to heart and use them wisely and soon your desperation will turn to happiness when you get that job you need so, well, desperately.

Now the only thing that’s left to do is go back to that bar and land yourself a cute date.

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